Home Child-Rearing 10 Strategies to Shut Those Damn Kids Up in Cars and on the Plane

10 Strategies to Shut Those Damn Kids Up in Cars and on the Plane

by suntech

Are you tired of dealing with those little brats making a ruckus during your peaceful car rides or flights? Well, fret no more! We’ve got some ingenious tactics that will make those annoying kids shut their traps and give you the peace and quiet you deserve.

The “Electronic Babysitter” Method:

In this digital age, technology can be a godsend. Load up your tablet or smartphone with their favorite movies, games, or mind-numbing YouTube videos. Hand it over to them like it’s a precious treasure they must protect at all costs. Watch as they become hypnotized by the screen, leaving you undisturbed for hours on end.

The “Bribery is King” Approach:

No shame in bribing these little devils into submission! Stock up on their favorite snacks, candies, or toys before embarking on your journey. Promise them these coveted treats only if they behave themselves throughout the entire trip. The fear of missing out should keep them silent and obedient.

The “Sleepy Time” Strategy:

If there’s one thing kids love more than causing chaos, it’s sleeping. Tire them out before hitting the road or taking off by engaging in vigorous physical activities like running around at the park or playing an intense game of tag. Once exhaustion kicks in, watch as they drift off into dreamland without uttering a single peep.

The “Noise-Canceling Headphones” Trick:

Invest in some top-notch noise-canceling headphones for yourself and each child accompanying you on this torturous journey. Not only will these magical devices drown out any irritating sounds from outside but also prevent any whining or screaming from penetrating your eardrums. It’s a win-win situation!

The “Silent Entertainment” Technique:

Equip each child with an activity that keeps them engaged without making a sound. Coloring books, puzzles, or even quiet board games can work wonders in keeping their little mouths shut. Just make sure to choose activities that won’t result in any sudden outbursts of frustration.

The “Threatening Whisper” Method:

This one requires some acting skills on your part. Lean in close to the misbehaving child and whisper menacingly into their ear about the dire consequences they’ll face if they don’t zip it immediately. Make sure to mention something truly terrifying like losing all screen time privileges for eternity or being banned from eating ice cream ever again.

The “Magical Distraction” Spell:

Master the art of distraction by carrying small magic tricks up your sleeve (literally). Pulling coins out of ears, making objects disappear and reappear – these mind-boggling acts will leave those kids so mesmerized that they won’t have time to utter a single word.

The “Sing-Along Showdown”:

If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em! Start belting out their favorite tunes at the top of your lungs while driving or flying through the air. Encourage them to sing along with you as loudly as possible. Soon enough, exhaustion will take over and silence will reign supreme.

The “Emergency Toy Stash” Tactic:

Create an emergency stash of brand new toys hidden away until absolutely necessary. When all else fails and chaos ensues, whip out these shiny new playthings one by one like a magician revealing his secrets. The novelty factor alone should keep them occupied and quiet for a considerable amount of time.

The “Last Resort” Nuclear Option:

If all else fails, resort to the ultimate weapon: Benadryl. Consult with your pediatrician beforehand, but if they give you the green light, a small dose of this magical sedative will ensure those little terrors are knocked out cold for the duration of your journey. Just be prepared for some serious side-eye from judgmental onlookers.

In conclusion,

With these ten foolproof strategies up your sleeve, you’ll never have to endure another agonizing car ride or flight ruined by noisy kids. So go forth and enjoy that well-deserved peace and quiet!

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